NAGOYA (Kyodo) -- For Kinoko, love has never fitted neatly into a box.

A genderqueer writer in their 40s living in Tokyo, Kinoko has on occasion dated several people at once -- not using deception, but with honesty and mutual consent.

The practice of "loving many," as Kinoko does, is labeled polyamory.

"When you develop feelings for more than one person," says Kinoko (a pseudonym), "I want people to know there's another option -- you don't have to choose between giving up (on the first relationship) or being unfaithful."

Kinoko, who identifies as genderqueer -- meaning they do not see themselves strictly as male or female -- grew up in Fukuoka Prefecture and earned a graduate degree from Kyushu University. After moving to the Kanto region, they began working as a writer based in Tokyo, taking assignments both in Japan and overseas.

Since 2012, Kinoko has been in a relationship with a man in his 40s from Kumamoto Prefecture. They met through a mutual acquaintance, and, drawn to his warm smile, Kinoko says it was love at first sight.

Before the two started dating, Kinoko told him frankly that they are polyamorous. Kinoko had three other partners at one point during their relationship.

"In the beginning, I felt anxious and jealous when (Kinoko) went on dates with other people, and it caused arguments," the man recalls.

He spoke with Kinoko every day and he sometimes joined Kinoko when they met their other partners for meals. Seeing their partners face-to-face, he says, helped ease his doubts.

"Meeting them gave me a good impression. I understood why (Kinoko) cared for them."

After about three years, he reached a kind of peace. "Even if (Kinoko) has other partners," he says, "their affection for me doesn't fade."

Now, a decade later, the man and Kinoko's relationship is strong. When Kinoko develops feelings for someone new, their partner listens and supports them.

The man also has other dalliances of his own, and everyone involved is aware and accepting of the arrangement. "Kinoko is an important person who helped me change my values," he says.

Kinoko's journey toward polyamory began when they were around 28. They first dated as a teenager but after entering university soon found themselves falling for someone else.

"I worried that it was strange to have feelings for more than one person," Kinoko recalls. During an anthropology lecture, they learned about polygamy and, through further research, discovered the concept of polyamory.

Still, Kinoko wasn't ready to embrace it immediately. For the next decade, they tried to love one partner at a time. But after a painful breakup with someone they had hoped to stay faithful to, they decided they could no longer deny their true urges.

"Even if it meant being rejected by everyone or feeling lonely," Kinoko says, "I wanted to live honestly with myself." From then on, they committed to living a polyamorous life.

Polyamory as a social concept first gained visibility in the United States during the 1980s and 1990s.

Some municipalities there now officially recognize polyamorous relationships, granting benefits such as shared healthcare coverage and hospital visitation rights.

In Japan, however, polyamory still faces social hurdles as its adherents face misunderstanding and discrimination.

Critics sometimes dismiss it with remarks like, "They just don't know true love," or "They must not feel jealousy," or even "They'll sleep with anyone."

Yet awareness is slowly growing. In a recent online survey of 3,000 men and women conducted by an event company, around 10 percent said they had dated someone who practices polyamory.

Kinoko does not expect their choices to suit the majority. "I'm not trying to recommend polyamory to everyone," they say. "I just want people to think more deeply about what kind of relationship can truly make them happy."

(By Yu Seo)