FUKUOKA -- In October 2023, a woman in southwestern Japan's Fukuoka Prefecture wrapped a mobile phone charging cord around her son's neck at their home and tried to strangle him with it. After he blacked out, she called police and confessed while cutting her neck with a knife. But the next moment, the unexpected occurred: Her son regained consciousness and came onto the phone, pleading to the officer on the other end of the line, "Take us to the hospital. Mom's bleeding from the neck. Don't let her die."

This was according to court records of a single mother who was charged with attempted murder after strangling her 9-year-old son and trying to take her own life.

The boy and his mother were delivered to a hospital and their lives were saved, and then the woman was arrested. Her son had a slight intellectual disability, and the woman's parents were both elderly and in need of care, burdening her with caring for two generations at one point.

Spiraling into despair

In room 905 of the Fukuoka District Court in May 2024, before prosecutors' sentencing request for the woman, a recording of the emergency call she made was played. "I'm sorry. I killed my son," she had said in a lifeless tone.

During her trial, the woman's upbringing was brought into the spotlight.

"When was it you thought you wanted to die?" her lawyer asked her.

"Around the summer (of 2023)," she replied. "The difficulty of living started to weigh on me. I got stuck in a spiral and it just wouldn't stop."

The woman gave birth to her son in 2014 as a single mother and lived with her aging parents at their home. The woman's mother was bedridden for one week a month because of severe schizophrenia. Her father, meanwhile, had a stroke around 2017 and suffered from aftereffects including paralysis of the right side of his body.

The woman herself had multiple mental disorders including insomnia, and after giving birth, she was also diagnosed with rheumatism. She earned a living working at a pet shop as she raised her son and cared for her parents by herself.

However, in December 2022, about a year before the attempted murder-suicide, the woman and her son began living by themselves as her parents went into a care facility. In the trial, her defense attorney asked if that had lightened her burden. She replied, "My parents, who I loved, were no longer in our house, and I felt like I had been given solitude. There was no one left to talk to, and a gaping hole opened in my heart."

Eating a single energy bar a day

While the "double care" burden eased, the woman's mental state worsened. After leaving her job in August 2023, her insomnia worsened. She doubled her medication, but still managed to get only around two hours of sleep a night. Each day, she ate just one bowl of rice or a single CalorieMate nutritional energy bar. She lost 12 kilograms, ending up weighing just 36 kg.

"Did you talk to anyone about your suicidal thoughts?" her lawyer probed.

"Yes, I did," she said, "but I was told (by a worker at an after-school service my son attended) that it was depression, so I shouldn't make any moves or do anything to push myself. Despite reaching out, I felt for some reason that I was being totally rejected, and my mind went blank. I just lost it. I couldn't see a future."

"What about the option of going into a hospital?" the lawyer asked.

"I wanted to," she answered, "but when I spoke with my son about it, he said, 'I don't want to be alone. I'll try hard so you don't have to go into the hospital.'"

The woman also sent out an SOS to the doctor of the hospital she visited, but was merely prescribed medicine for depression. She tried to call a suicide prevention hotline where volunteers listen to people with problems, but was unable to get through.

"On the day before the incident, there was choir recital (for your son)," the lawyer noted.

"He was doing his best, singing louder than his friends around him. I thought he was trying hard and that he had grown," the woman recalled.

The very next day, however, she tried to kill him.

It was a very ordinary Sunday. Her son had toast for breakfast, and asked her to make fried rice with eggs for lunch. After breakfast, when the woman put her arms around him in bed, he went on about the kinds of cars he loved until he fell asleep.

"What happiness," the woman thought as she looked at her son's face. But at the same time, she was unable to suppress her conflicting feelings: "I've done all I can. I don't want to live. I want to rest."

Thinking of her son, she then contemplated, "I can't leave him by himself." She grabbed a nearby mobile phone charging cable and wrapped it around his neck. "I thought about it again and again, and picked it up only to put it down again," she recalled. "No, I mustn't do it. But I don't want to live" -- wavering like this, she began tightening the cord.

"Mom, it hurts," her son pleaded.

"I'm sorry. Won't you die with me?" she replied.

Over a minute passed. She had meant to confirm that her son had lost consciousness and then slash her own neck, but perhaps because she had wavered somewhere inside, the planned murder-suicide ended in a mere attempt.

When asked why she tried to kill her son and take her own life, she recalled, "I repeatedly sent out an SOS, and I wanted someone to help us. I think I needed to reach out further, but I had exhausted my strength."

After the incident, the woman's son was moved to a children's home. Letters he wrote to her were read out during the trial:

"Dear Mom, you were always kind to me. I miss you, but I'll try my best."

"Dear Mom, how are you? Let's meet again."

In their concluding statements, prosecutors criticized the woman for easily thinking of sacrificing her son, and pointed out that her son wanted to live along with her.

Prosecutors make unusual sentence request

Instead of the harsh sentence they could have sought, prosecutors who had indicted the woman took the rare move of requesting a three-year suspended sentence with probation.

In her final statement, the woman repeatedly apologized for her actions, and revealed her wish to once again live with her son. "I've continually regretted my actions. The most painful thing is that I laid a hand on my son. I want to redo my life. I want to live with my beloved son," she said.

On May 30, Presiding Judge Atsushi Tomita handed the woman a three-year prison sentence, suspended for four years with probation. The ruling criticized her, noting, "Trying to take a child's life based on one-sided thinking is not something that can be forgiven," but additionally stated, "Looking at the circumstances leading up to her thinking that she couldn't leave the victim behind, full blame cannot be placed on the defendant alone."

After handing down the ruling, the presiding judge stated, "To live as a family, sometimes it is necessary to ask for help (from those around you). Please take your time and move on slowly." The verdict was finalized without an appeal.

During her trial, the woman reportedly stated, "I don't want another case like mine to happen." Her lawyer stated, "The woman sent out an SOS, but the social safety net completely failed to catch her. If those around her had reached out to help, this incident might have been prevented."

(Japanese original by Kazuya Shimura, Kyushu News Department)